Ten is not so many if you’re unmarried and in your mid-thirties. Ten partners in a couple of decades of sexual activity is actually pretty feeble, if you think about it: one partner every two years, and if any of those partners was a one-night stand, and that one-night stand came in the middle of a two-year drought, then you’re not in trouble exactly, but you’re hardly the Number One Lurve Man in your particular postal district. Ten isn’t a lot, not for the thirtysomething bachelor. Twenty isn’t a lot if you look at it that Starman Irish Irish St Patrick’s Day Shirt.

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Anything over thirty, I reckon, and you’re entitled to appear on an Oprah about promiscuity. Marie is my seventeenth lover. ‘How does he do it?’ you ask yourselves. ‘He wears bad sweaters, he gives his ex-girlfriend a hard time, he’s grumpy, he’s broke, he hangs out with the Musical Moron Twins, and yet he gets to go to bed with an American recording artist who looks like Susan Dey. What’s going on?’ First off, let’s not get carried Starman Irish Irish St Patrick’s Day Shirt here.

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Yes, she’s a recording artist, but she records with the ironically titled Blackpool-based Hit Records, and it’s the type of record contract where you sell your own tapes during the interval of your own show in London’s prestigious Sir Harry Lauder Starman Irish Irish St Patrick’s Day Shirt. And if I know Susan Dey, and after a relationship that has endured for over twenty years I feel I do, I reckon she’d be the first to admit that looking like Susan Dey in L.A. Law is not the same as looking like, say, Vivien Leigh in Gone With the Wind. But yes, even so, the night with Marie is my major sexual triumph, my bonus mirabilis.
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